The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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