me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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