Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
