the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
