My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
