I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
