found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
