Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
