weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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