im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
