There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
