It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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