Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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