Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
