I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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