White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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