i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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