I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
