The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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