think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
