this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
