Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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