I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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