genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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