whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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