If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
