this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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