i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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