And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
