he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need to sanitize my soul.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
