I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
