What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
