She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
