I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
