the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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