in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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