And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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