I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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