There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize