dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
