I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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