Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
