Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
