I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
