I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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