Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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