In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
