you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
