Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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