Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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