have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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