Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
