new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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