Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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