? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
