What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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