I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am available for nakedness
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
