When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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