theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
