carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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