i already hear my dad disowning me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize