now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
