I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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